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digg A Crispy Chicken April Fools Joke?
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posted by sysrpl on Thursday April 1, 2021 9:54 AM

day before April 1 2021 I received a McDonald's mailer advertising their new Crispy Chicken Sandwich along with a coupon redeemable for said sandwich only valid on April 1. Today I decided to take Mcdonald's up on their one-day-only free Crispy Chicken Sandwich offer and was left to ponder the following question.

A joke of a chicken.
Is the new McDonald's Crispy Chicken Sandwich an April fools day joke?

I am serious. Is McDonald's attempting to punk the United States? This crispy chicken sandwich was neither crispy nor new. In fact, it was cold, limp, dry, and in no way crispy. I am not sure how the crispy moniker would apply to an unbreaded, unseasoned, and pathetically rubbery piece of meat McDonalds was calling chicken.

I ordered the “deluxe” version and was surprised to find a few then off-white color slices of what looked like tomatoes atop of the meat patty adorned with lettuce bits. I say lettuce with generosity. It seemed more like light green confetti. Would it be that difficult to serve leaves of lettuce, or does all McDonald's lettuce come from a pinata bag of small rectangular pieces formed from leaf type “produce” clippings? Also, for whatever reason, my “deluxe” version omitted the pickles they so prominently advertised in the oversized photo mailer I received.

I wasn’t surprised by the bun. I’ve known that McDonald's has the worst possible sandwich buns and was not let down by the bun on their new Crispy Chicken Sandwich. The bun was squashed, unheated, and tasted like a slice of cheap off-brand white bread four days past its expiration date. That is, not particularly soft, with a hint of the unnatural.

Finally, regarding condiments, I assume their Crispy Chicken Sandwich included mayonnaise, but after eating the sandwich I'm still unsure. There was a white glue-like substance somewhere between the top bun and the light green confetti rectangles, though it didn't seem like mayonnaise. The white substance had no discernible odor or flavor. At best it provided the sandwich with some sensation of wetness which was offset entirely by the cold dry chicken material dwelling underneath it.

In all, not only was I surprised that Mcdonald's had created a new low standard in their sandwich offerings, but was left wondering if they were actually trying to pull off an elaborate April fools joke on the entire nation.

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